...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
