My room smells like vodka and shame
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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