But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
