All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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