he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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