the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
did i just pee glitter
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
