And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
