I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
