Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
