Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
