Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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