I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
