GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
