Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
