I have demons in me.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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