Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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