Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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