Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
