This girl is more easily done than said...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
