I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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