he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
