I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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