He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
