My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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