the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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