Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
