remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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