WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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