I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
