Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
