Will you blow on my dice?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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