Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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