is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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