my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
