wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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