i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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