school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
