Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she looked like the before picture.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
