can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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