can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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