Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
