I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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