I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
