So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize