Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What a dumb baby whore.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
