i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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