Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
