Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
