I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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