Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
