and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
