brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
there was a trapeze. enough said
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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