he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Small penises have feelings too.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize