Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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