Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize