Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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