All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
