yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
