You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
