She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
