I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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