spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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