8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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