I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I understand Curling. That high.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
