Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
