So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
