Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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