I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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