Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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